Family
Our family is less than 2 months away from Damien's last day at work. The weeks and days sometimes seem beyond full. Both of us adults have our regular work commitments. Damien's job as a computer programmer/systems analyst at the college. And my job of home management, cooking, home education and child raising.
On top of this already full time work we are downsizing our belongings, renovating the house, and getting ready to earn an income from home once we move.
It's a lot and it's about as much as I can possibly take. The last time I remember going through such an intense season of life with a big deadline looming was twelve years ago when I was finishing my degree, student teaching and in the third trimester of pregnancy with Celine. That too was almost as much as I could take. But you know what? I survived. I'll survive this too. (At least this is what I keep telling myself).
It's necessary when you go through an extended period of intense focus and activity to let a few things slide. Here's just a few compromises we've made to stay sane and healthy during this difficult period.
Something we are not willing to compromise though are our weekend hikes - our commitment to spend one day a week together outdoors.
Except for extreme circumstances or terribly inclement weather that threatens our safety and poses real discomfort we have stayed true to being outdoors one day a week together. Even through these difficult winter months of moving preparation.
- Has this been easy? Heck No!
- Do I question this steadfast decision each weekend as we scramble to get ourselves out the door? Almost always.
- Looking back on each weekend do I regret one minute we've spent hiking together when we could have been painting, packing, writing, or cooking? Not a chance.
It occured to me a couple weeks ago while on the trail that our weekly hikes are like the reset button on our life. We often hit the trailhead a little wound up from the week's hectic pace, sometimes burdened with stress and worry.
But there is something about the physical exertion, the beauty of nature, and the conversations we have on the trail that takes us back to center. When the balancing act of home life, employment and moving preparation feels near the edge of chaos our time in nature puts everything in its proper place and gives perspective.
Our regular weekend hikes pull us back from the edge and set us firmly on the path of "stay focused, keep dreaming, this too shall pass, remember to breathe, trust, and enjoy the journey".
For me, it's like hitting the reset button on life.
Can you relate? What does your family do to hit the reset button and help you stay on course, especially during a difficult season of life?
Photos from yesterday's (spring is coming!) hike at Camden Hills State Park in Maine.
I am always in search of families that do overnight/multi-day treks in the backcountry together. Where we are, families like that are a rarity and so in order to find inspiration we have to look online. I would like to make this post THE definitive directory of bloggers who take their families on backcountry treks. This is what we have so far (not that many!), listed in alphabetical order:
- Aaron Teasdale - Misoulla, Montana, USA
- The Bearable Lightness - Stockholm, Sweden
- End of Ordinary - Portland, Oregon, USA
- Griffis Family Outdoors - Grangeville, Idaho, USA
- Ground Truth Trekking - Seldovia, Alaska, USA
- My Camp Gear - Australia
- Pedal Powered Family - Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
- Ryan Jordan - Bozeman, Montana, USA
- Trek Lightly - Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
Do you know any other bloggers that should be added to this list? Leave a comment or send me a message via the contact form.
Want to keep up-to-date on new sites that get added to this post? Click on the "subscribe" link at the bottom of this post to receive an email message whenever this post is updated.
Artwork: Laurent Tougas
This month we celebrated fourteen years of marriage. We committed "till death do us part" so we're in for the long haul. Fourteen isn't as much as 25 or 30 but it's on the way there. It's a milestone worth marking.
When I made my vows as a young woman there were many things I didn't know about this man with whom I share my heart, body, struggles, hopes, plans, toil, children, memories and laughter. But I knew the really important things: he was committed to his faith, was a man of his word, valued family and cherished me. What more was there to really know?
Of course there was more to know and I spent our pre-marriage days finding out all I could about this man to judge if he would be a suitable partner for the rest of my life. I had a mental checklist and I seriously critiqued him in those most important areas (and some not so important) before I even allowed myself to consider "falling in love". But when I fell baby, boy did I ever. Damien is the center of my world and it feels scary and vulnerable to admit such intense devotion to my husband.
I know I've written a little about that here before. And I also know that writing about matters of the heart is a bit of a deviation from trip reports, minimalist shoe reviews and backpacking tent recommendations. But I can honestly say behind all those techy/gear type posts is a marriage partnership and shared activity between an adventure-loving husband and a learning-to-love adventure wife. The heartbeat of everything we do together and write, even gear reviews, is our love for each other.
Damien's love for me was his giving up competitive cycling because it interfered too much with family time. Then finding a new physical activity we could all do together and patiently encouraging us every step of they way. Never forcing, but leading in love. Love is his research and planning to get gear to keep me comfortable, safe and warm. It's carrying my camera and sometimes even my pack when I'm miserable and dare I say, a pain in the ass.
My role in all of this has been mostly responsive; it is realizing that outdoor adventures make him happy and choosing to follow because loving this man means loving adventure.
How ironic, and perhaps not so surprising, that this innate interest of his is both so attractive and compelling to me (I am inspired by people who push the boundaries) and at the same time exasperating. And I guess this is one of those things that I didn't realize when I married this man; how much I'd grow and change for the better in choosing to support, embrace and learn to love something he loves.
I am not trying to say "look at me, aren't I the model wife". If only you could see the tears of self-pity I've shed, the shameful outbursts on the trail and the woes-me complex I sometimes carry around. Pathetic.
Marriage means sacrifice. It means giving up of ourselves to help our spouses realize their dreams and potential. Walking hand in hand with someone, helping them become who they were meant to be. Isn't this the best gift we can give each other?
Of course this sacrifice goes both ways and I would not want you to think I'm the one who has given up the most. I'm fairly certain that is not the case. We don't keep tabs on that in our relationship but I'm pretty certain Damien has given up more for me. Being the sole provider for years, being steadfast in that responsibility so I can stay home and fulfill my dream as a stay at home mother, homemaker & homeschooler. Yep, this is my dream job. And Damien makes it possible.
I love this man so much and if what he wants from me is to walk with him through the woods and up mountains (literally and figuratively) why wouldn't I?
Yes, it scares the socks right off me somedays to hear him dream and plan our next life adventure. And the truth be known I don't particularly like sweating and sometimes I feel so tired on the trail I want to fall down and throw a tantrum. But we work through those issues (and a host of others) because that's what you do when you're married. I'm pretty sure that's somewhere in our vows.
I might not have realized Damien was such an adventurous guy when we married. But likewise there was no guarantee he'd be such a great husband and father. So if having adventures with me is what he wants I'm trusting and holding on for the ride.
