renee's blog
This month we celebrated fourteen years of marriage. We committed "till death do us part" so we're in for the long haul. Fourteen isn't as much as 25 or 30 but it's on the way there. It's a milestone worth marking.
When I made my vows as a young woman there were many things I didn't know about this man with whom I share my heart, body, struggles, hopes, plans, toil, children, memories and laughter. But I knew the really important things: he was committed to his faith, was a man of his word, valued family and cherished me. What more was there to really know?
Of course there was more to know and I spent our pre-marriage days finding out all I could about this man to judge if he would be a suitable partner for the rest of my life. I had a mental checklist and I seriously critiqued him in those most important areas (and some not so important) before I even allowed myself to consider "falling in love". But when I fell baby, boy did I ever. Damien is the center of my world and it feels scary and vulnerable to admit such intense devotion to my husband.
I know I've written a little about that here before. And I also know that writing about matters of the heart is a bit of a deviation from trip reports, minimalist shoe reviews and backpacking tent recommendations. But I can honestly say behind all those techy/gear type posts is a marriage partnership and shared activity between an adventure-loving husband and a learning-to-love adventure wife. The heartbeat of everything we do together and write, even gear reviews, is our love for each other.
Damien's love for me was his giving up competitive cycling because it interfered too much with family time. Then finding a new physical activity we could all do together and patiently encouraging us every step of they way. Never forcing, but leading in love. Love is his research and planning to get gear to keep me comfortable, safe and warm. It's carrying my camera and sometimes even my pack when I'm miserable and dare I say, a pain in the ass.
My role in all of this has been mostly responsive; it is realizing that outdoor adventures make him happy and choosing to follow because loving this man means loving adventure.
How ironic, and perhaps not so surprising, that this innate interest of his is both so attractive and compelling to me (I am inspired by people who push the boundaries) and at the same time exasperating. And I guess this is one of those things that I didn't realize when I married this man; how much I'd grow and change for the better in choosing to support, embrace and learn to love something he loves.
I am not trying to say "look at me, aren't I the model wife". If only you could see the tears of self-pity I've shed, the shameful outbursts on the trail and the woes-me complex I sometimes carry around. Pathetic.
Marriage means sacrifice. It means giving up of ourselves to help our spouses realize their dreams and potential. Walking hand in hand with someone, helping them become who they were meant to be. Isn't this the best gift we can give each other?
Of course this sacrifice goes both ways and I would not want you to think I'm the one who has given up the most. I'm fairly certain that is not the case. We don't keep tabs on that in our relationship but I'm pretty certain Damien has given up more for me. Being the sole provider for years, being steadfast in that responsibility so I can stay home and fulfill my dream as a stay at home mother, homemaker & homeschooler. Yep, this is my dream job. And Damien makes it possible.
I love this man so much and if what he wants from me is to walk with him through the woods and up mountains (literally and figuratively) why wouldn't I?
Yes, it scares the socks right off me somedays to hear him dream and plan our next life adventure. And the truth be known I don't particularly like sweating and sometimes I feel so tired on the trail I want to fall down and throw a tantrum. But we work through those issues (and a host of others) because that's what you do when you're married. I'm pretty sure that's somewhere in our vows.
I might not have realized Damien was such an adventurous guy when we married. But likewise there was no guarantee he'd be such a great husband and father. So if having adventures with me is what he wants I'm trusting and holding on for the ride.
We hiked Mount Washington last weekend. The highest mountain in the eastern United States. It's nothing compared to the western mountains but we did hike an elevation gain of 4,000+ feet and spent nine hours on the trail, including a lunch stop at the top.
Top of Washington with our friend John Sifferman
The kids and I were tired the next day so we slept in and took the rest of the day slowly. This routine, a day to allow mommy and kids to start the week slow after a busy weekend, is just our latest schedule change in a continual finding our way on this path to an adventurous family life.
It's one of our goals to be adventuring outdoors all year round. Damien works a regular weekday job. Come the weekend we head to the mountains for one-day-a-week hike and spend another day at home taking care of house and yard maintenance and sometimes getting together with friends in the evening.
Life is full. The summer especially so. We started this new Monday routine as an answer to my request for more downtime in my schedule and to ensure our children get adequate rest and unstructured play time after long hikes. Damien is energized from hiking long distances. I'm energized physically but emotionally I need a certain amount of "relax time" at home to feel recharged.
This is why we homeschool, and more fundamentally why I'm a full time homemaker. So that Monday morning we are not rushing out of the house but taking it easy, even after the normal summer school break is over. We homeschool year round so summer doesn't bring vast changes to our schedule.
We homeschool to give our family the maximum amount of freedom to follow our interests, collectively and individually.
When we started our homeschooling journey, many years ago (we decided to homeschool before our children were even born), we were attracted to this lifestyle because of the families we knew who were homeschooling their children. Interesting families, with interesting children doing interesting things together.
At the time we didn't imagine hiking and being outdoors as much as we are, well maybe Damien did but didn't let me in on his secret. But we did imagine being able to choose our own schedule and meet our children's unique educational needs. Right now the children and I need a down day during the usual work week in order to keep the pace we do with Daddy on the weekend. Homeschooling allows us that freedom.
It let's us tell our eleven year old daughter, who likes sleeping in and reading, that come Monday morning (or whatever day we choose) she can do that - to her heart's content. But come Saturday morning we're going to be up and at 'em quite early to hit the trail - spending the day hiking together as a family.
Freedom to choose adventure. Freedom to choose curriculum. Freedom to choose the way we want to live. This is why we homeschool.
(If you are interested in more homeschooling related posts you can check out our homeschooling resource page at FIMBY.)
Trip report from our Memorial Day weekend backpacking to Horns Pond in the Bigelow Mountains of Maine.
The hiking:
- 4.1 miles one way.
- We started on the Fire Warden's Trail that starts at Stratton Brook Pond (you don't want to know how buggy that area is in May) then took the Horns Pond Trail at the junction. The bugs diminished the higher we hiked.
- The second day we hiked 1 mile up to the peaks of the South and North Horn, for a total of 2 miles of hiking. It was a nice rest day with naps and reading in the afternoon.
- This campsite and pond is also a great location for a day hike.
The accommodations:
- Free! No site fees, what a deal for such a great spot.
- No fires. Bummer.
- We used the shelters that were located there and left our tent at home. Probably not the smartest thing to do. The site caretaker told us that last Memorial Day weekend the whole campsite was full to capacity (58 warm bodies). The weekend of our trip was much quieter in comparison.
- There are 2 lean-tos or shelters that sleep 8 each. Lots of campsites and an area for groups.
- This site is on the Appalachian Trail and I suspect is fairly hopping later in the hiking season with both north and south bound thru hikers. Our family loves meeting section and thru hikers and connecting with people at campsites is a bonus for us.
The view:
- The views going up were quite lovely, when we had one. The view from the North Horn down is gorgeous.
- The Horns Pond is a sweet little pond. Reportedly moose visit but we didn't see any. Some people fish in the pond for little brook trout. On a really hot day I'm sure it would be a refreshing swim but it wasn't really hot when we were there.
- There is no view from the shelters, they are located away from the pond for environmental reasons. This was a bit disappointing but understandable. The privies however have a great view of the mountains to the south, including Sugarloaf USA Ski Resort (a view I personally did not appreciate).
Please see our family's home blog FIMBY for more photos of this trip. Also:
